I said my next post was going to be about my beauty/skin care products. But then my husband opened his mouth, and I had to write about it.
Yesterday he turns to me and says “Babe, can we get a maid?” Sure honey. I would also like a super model body and a white couch that my toddler won’t stain. None of those are happening. The day before he asked for two 32 inch tvs to go next to the 75 inch tv he already has in his man cave. Why? So he could watch mutliple football games at the same time. That’s why there’s the “back” button on the remote.
Then this morning he turns to me and says, “Babe, can I get a set of golf clubs? Oh, and can I get a golf membership to go along with those clubs?” Ummm, did we just win the lottery that I’m not aware of? I couldn’t tell if he’s joking with all these requests, or does he think I’m an idiot and just going to say yes to all of the above. Then it got me thinking, if we did win the lottery, the things I would ask for are way more practical and way more boring. Example- we just spent our last two paychecks on shutters. Shutters! There is literally nothing more expensive and less exciting than spending money on window treatments.
So lets pretend someone dropped $5000 on my doorstep, these are the things I would ask for in this order:
- A cordless Dyson. I was going to ask for one for Christmas, but my dad told me you can’t ask for vacuums for Christmas. Apparently that’s lame, and the elves can’t make them.
- Bookshelves for our office. About as exciting as shutters.
- This refrigerator. Our current fridge got busted in the move, and the freezer pops open a couple of times a day. Yes, we have a broken fridge and my husband would rather have two extra tvs to watch football.
- Roomba. This would have gone second, but then I realized I’d be the biggest nerd on the planet if the first two things I bought with my new money were vacuums. So I moved it to No. 4
- This suitcase. It’s got a freaking iPhone charger on it!
- Apple Watch. This is actually what I’m going to ask for Christmas.
- Plants/Flowers. Our landscaping is the worst in the neighborhood. But the thought of spending a sh** ton of money on flowers that will die in a few months makes my heart hurt.
- A second car seat. Moving the one back and forth between cars is super annoying. But I can’t justify buying a second one because I’m lazy.
- A maid. I’ll give my husband credit for that one. A maid every couple of weeks would be nice.
- An American admirals club membership.
Honorable mention: new washing machine, area rug, chairs for breakfast nook, a Louis Vuitton bag, an endless amount of Orangetheory passes.
When did I get so old that I would spend all my lottery money on appliances and furniture? But man, I want that dang Dyson so bad! What’s on your adult wish list?
Oh, sidenote– I’m not mad at my husband over the cost of the golf membership. But if he’s got an extra four hours a week to play golf, why am I paying for a maid? It sounds like I should get Mario the Dyson instead.