Ok, the title may be a bit dramatic. But it’s true! He’s headed off to his first day of school tomorrow. Granted it’s only two days a week, for five hours a day. I’m fully prepared for this to be me
I’m not sad about the time I’m missing with him. Let’s be honest, five hours kid-free? it sounds lovely. I could maybe get that pedicure I’ve been meaning to get five months ago. Here’s what I am sad about: he’s going to think I’m leaving him there. He’s 18-months-old, and already a little separation anxiety. He doesn’t understand “Mommy will be back” just yet. So I’m terrified of the goodbye tears tomorrow. Maybe there won’t be any tears. Maybe that’ll be even worse… realizing that he doesn’t miss me.
Here’s a few other things I’m worried about. (I know they all sound neurotic, but just indulge me for a minute).
- Nap time- They expect my kid to nap…on a mat…on the floor…not caged in by a crib…with a bunch of other kids around him. No chance. He’s never going to nap. He’ll probably ruin every other kids nap as well.
- Lunch time- We’re currently in a phase where I cook five different meals to figure out what he wants that day (you know, because he can’t talk to actually tell me). Is he going to eat what I’ve packed for him? Is he going to starve? Probably not, he’ll just steal some other kid’s food. Will that kid starve?
- “Playing gentle”- this is what we call it at our house. Jace is…how should I put it? A bit aggressive. Let’s use a nicer term. He’s energetic. Yesterday we were on a playdate, and he pushed the kid to the ground. The kid started hysterically crying. I’m freaking out that he’s going to bite, hit, smack some kid in class. On meet-the-teacher day, he was running laps around the classroom. You know what they said? “We’ve got a runner on our hands!” Another mom looked over at me and said, “Is he always like that?” Yep. Sorry lady. Just hope your kid doesn’t learn anything from mine!
- What if I forget something?: Everyday he goes to school, I have to pack for a weekend vacation. Change of clothes, extra pair of shoes, diapers, wipes, lunch, two drinks, nap mat, and his lovey.
- What if he hates it?: This is my real fear. He needs to learn how to play with kids. He needs to learn how to be away from his parents. But I want him to enjoy it too. He’s too young to tell me about his day, or if a kid was mean to him, or if he learned anything new. How will I know if he’s having fun or if he totally hates it?
Now that I’ve typed all these worries out, they all sound stupid (except the napping thing). I know he’ll be fine. I’m fully prepared for a few tears. But he’ll adapt quickly. Heck, this is the kid I took on a plane at 7 days old. He’s a trooper. It’s time for him to leave the nest. But I have booked a full day tomorrow to prevent me from trying to pick him up early!