I think my name is “No-No”

My little sister used to have this onsie that said “I think my name is No-No.” I thought, and still do, that’s the funniest graphic tee I’ve ever seen. You think they still make it 25 years later? Because I need one for my son. I’m not joking. He knows three words- mama, dada, and no-no-no-no-no.

I wrote the other day about how this freaking kid is like a bowl in a china shop. The other day he ripped the curtains off the wall, fell off the window seal, and took a cup of coffee and poured it all over the carpet and chair. He does it all knowing it’s wrong, and masks it with a huge smile. Seriously, when he had the coffee cup in his hand, he looked at me while I’m yelling “no, no, no, no!”. Smiled. Then proceeded to pour the coffee all over. Then he laughed. Then I opened the bottle of wine…. at 10 am. Just kidding. That’s only happened once.

This stuff happens all day long. Then he goes to bed, and I start to think about the day. I think of how many times I said “no” that day. ” No! Don’t hang on the oven door!”. “No! Don’t bang on the fireplace!” “No! Stop kicking the dog!” “No!!!! Stop eating the dog food!” (Actually, I gave up on that last one. I figure one day he’ll realize it’s gross). I probably say “no-no” two-hundred times a day. That’s why tonight when he was pulling the pots and pans out of the cabinet, he looks at me and says “no, no, no, no, no”. He’s clearly realizing these are the only words that come out of my mouth. And he clearly doesn’t care.

As I do every night, I start to beat myself up. “Maybe I should be more positive. Maybe I need to reinforce the good things that he’s doing, and not harping not he bad. Kris, next time say ‘Lets try this Jace’ instead of saying ‘no”.  Yes, I read all this in a parenting article.

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But after about an hour, and two glasses of wine, I get over it. You know what, I kept that child alive and out of the ER another day! That’s a freaking accomplishment!  If I didn’t yell at him when he was climbing on the oven, he could have fallen off and broken his arm. If I didn’t yell at him when he kicked the dog, the pup may have bitten him. Maybe there’s a balance between yelling “no” and more positive criticism. But when you see your young child grab a knife out of the sink, the only words available are “no! no! no!”

So cheers to the mamas and dadas that kept their kid out of the ER another day. And if anyone finds a shirt that says “I think my name is no-no”, pick me up one.

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